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Tuesday football
18 September 2007
by Jerrad Peters

"YOU know omelettes, eggs?" asked the philosopher. He spoke in a mumbling droll as logic and reason flowed from his head and out of his mouth. Those around him listened intently as he continued. "If you have no eggs, you have no omelette. And it depends upon the quality of the eggs." The great theorist paused briefly and allowed his listenders to grasp the heighty concept. He went on, "In the supermarket you have class-one, two and three eggs. Some are more expensive and make better omelettes. So when class-one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there," he concluded, "you have a problem."

Now, Jose Mourinho is no Confucious -- although one could be mistaken for confusing the two, given Mourinho's "omelette" allegory yesterday. Football's Special One-turned logician opted for the obscure explanation when questioned about Chelsea's disappointing 0-0 draw against Blackburn Rovers at the weekend. The club's poor run of form also includes a 2-1 loss to Aston Villa earlier this month, a narrow victory at home to Portsmouth, and a fortunate draw at Liverpool. With Chelsea grouped with European heavyweights such as Valencia and Schalke 04 in Group B of the UEFA Champions' League, any prolonged slump could result in the unthinkable -- an early crash out of Europe.

Sevilla have arrived in London ahead of tomorrow's Champions' League Group-H clash with Arsenal at Emirates Stadium. And while there has been no shortage of discussion regarding the match, much of the chatter has been aimed at Juande Ramos' rumored move to Tottenham Hotspur. The 52-year-old Sevilla manager has enjoyed incredible success at the Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan since arriving from Malaga in the summer of 2005. Under his guidance, the club has won back-to-back UEFA Cups, the UEFA SuperCup, the Copa del Rey, and the Supercopa de Espana. The persistent link to Spurs is puzzling, if only because the north London side has been a mostly middling club in the top flight of English football over the past fifteen years. Sevilla, meanwhile, compete for the top honors at the highest levels of the European game. Ramos is already well-positioned to lead his squad into the knock-out stages of the Champions' League and will pose a legitimate domestic threat to Barcelona and Real Madrid. Spurs, quite simply, are not on the same competitive level; and one has to wonder as to Ramos' actual intentions. "Today I am the coach of Sevilla," stated Ramos upon arrival in London, yesterday. "But everything is possible. One of my challenges as a coach is to work in a foreign country. England would be a magnificent destination; but I don't have a concrete date." Daniel Levy is salivating as we speak.

Alisher Usmanov and his Red & White Holdings company have increased their stake in Arsenal Football Club to 21%. Under stock market rules, the Russian steel tycoon has only to acquire a further 8.9% of shares in order to trigger an automatic takeover bid. Usmanov, who purchased David Dein's 14.65% stake for 75M-pounds last month, now has the second-highest holding in the club. Danny Fiszman remains the controling shareholder with 24%. Usmanov is rumored to be actively conspiring with Dein, the former Gunners chief executive, to stage a takeover coup within the next several months. Manager Arsene Wenger, a close, personal friend of Dein's, only heightened the speculation by agreeing a new, four-year contract extension last week.

While Martin Jol appears to be on his last legs at Tottenham, Sammy Lee is on the verge of the sack at Bolton Wanderers. The Trotters sit dead-last in the Premier League and will travel to Skopje, Macedonia, midweek for a UEFA Cup match against FK Rabotnicki -- an ironic twist of fates which demonstrates how far the club has fallen since long-term manager Sam Allardyce bolted the Reebok last spring. Somewhat appropriately, Bolton will host Tottenham Hotspur on Sunday. Both clubs finished among the European places last season and are fighting relegation so far this term. It would surprise nobody if the losing manager was unemployed on Monday morning.

Peter Crouch looks set for a return to Portsmough. The gangly Liverpool and England striker has failed to assert himself in Rafael Benitez' starting-XI so far this season. His start at Fratton Park on Saturday was his first of the campaign to date. With Fernando Torres, Andriy Voronin, Ryan Babel, and Dirk Kuyt ahead of him in the manager's pecking-order, Crouch is likely to request a transfer after Christmas in order to maintain his international aspirations. Harry Redknapp has been the most serious suitor to date. Crouch scored 18-goals in 37-matches while at Pompey in 2001-2002. The 26-year-old journeyman has also suited-up for Tottenham Hotspur, IFK Hasselholm, Queens Park Rangers, Aston Villa, Norwich, and Southampton.

Dean Ashton is looking forward to an England re-call just over a year after sustaining a serious knee injury which kept him out of the West Ham squad for much of last season. The 23-year-old Swindon-born striker is seen as the ideal replacement for the injured Emile Heskey and received an official, FA-issued suit, yesterday. Ashton made his long-awaited first Premier League start at home to Middlesbrough, Saturday, and scored West Ham's third-goal of a 3-0 route at Upton Park. At 6-feet, 2-inches, Ashton's stature would make him the ideal foil for Michael Owen.