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Wednesday Football
01 January 2008
by Jerrad Peters

The police state and the prawn sandwich brigade
“The crowd was dead,” grumbled Sir Alex Ferguson after Manchester United defeated Birmingham City 1-0 at Old Trafford, Tuesday. “It was like a funeral; it was so quiet.”

Truth be told, it wasn’t the first time the United manager had raged against the home support. Too often for the 66-year-old, his players run out into the calm, snooty atmosphere of the Theatre of Dreams. It’s almost as if he’s directing a dinner theatre rather than managing a world-class football club. The prawn sandwich brigade, as former captain Roy Keane labeled the cushy, silent throngs.

Of course, there are exceptions. When United hosted AS Roma in the return leg of their Champions’ League quarterfinal, Old Trafford thumped and roared with all the gusto of Anfield, Parkhead, or the Bonbonera. Admittedly, Birmingham City are not Roma. And traveling United supporters had not been lynched and assaulted upon their previous visit to St. Andrews. Such are the sort of unusual, blood-boiling events which will bring Old Trafford to a crescendo. After all, they’ve seen everything. And goodness knows they’ve seen a 1-0 defeat of the likes of Birmingham City time and again.

Colin Hendrie has a different view of things. A member of the Independent Manchester United Supporters’ Association, Hendrie claims that the club actually stifles the atmosphere at Old Trafford.

“You can’t stand up to make a noise,” he said in response to Ferguson’s complaints. “If you try to stand up, you’ve got stewards who are ejecting you. They’re taking your season ticket away from you.” He added, “It’s almost like a police state in a football ground.”

A token bid for the best player on earth
Real Madrid are reportedly preparing a 45M-pound bid for Manchester United’s Cristiano Ronaldo. Imagine it. Ronaldo and Wesley Sneijder, two of the best wingers in football, swapping flanks and spinning defenders into the ground. Here’s saying it won’t happen. And Madrid are as cognizant of that as anyone.

One of the quirks of Spanish football, and of domestic leagues throughout much of Europe and South America, is the election of club presidents. Campaigning for the position is ruthless – easily exceeding the ferocity of many national elections in those same countries. And the platforms upon which the candidates campaign often tend toward the fantasy and make-believe. In other words, football’s politicians will say anything to get elected. And nobody outside their respective club membership really believes any of it.

Madrid are no exception. When Ramon Calderon swept to leadership in July, 2006, he promised a host of new signings. Among the players he intended to unveil at the Bernabeu – Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo. As a matter of fact, one of the club’s first pieces of business under Calderon’s new regime was to make an attempt at Ronaldo after the fall-out from the World Cup. They failed; and the Portuguese winger signed a 5-year extension at Old Trafford just months later. Calderon, however, could truthfully explain to his electorate that he had tried to lure Ronaldo to Madrid.

The offer-sheet which the Meringues will present to the 22-year-old in January is no different. As Ronaldo has now eclipsed Kaka as the best player in the world, Calderon is compelled to make a bid. He, as much as anyone else, fully understands that his overtures will fall on deaf ears. In reality, Madrid are unlikely to even contact the player. They will merely thump their chests in the papers and purport to be making an effort to bring top-class talent to the club.

Dimitar Berbatov, CEO, CFO, Berbatov Advertising & Promotions Inc.
Various outlets are reporting that Tottenham Hotspur striker Dimitar Berbatov will sign for Chelsea in January. The Blues, by virtue of their 26M-pound offer, are said to be poised to out-bid Manchester United for the 26-year-old Bulgarian. United fans should not distress. Nor, for that matter, should Spurs supporters. Berbatov is a self-centered, self-promoting egomaniac who will leave countless relationships in tatters over the course of his career. (Hello, Nicolas Anelka.) Chelsea are welcome to him.

Coaching carousel
Ottmar Hitzfeld has announced his intention to resign as Bayern Munich manager at season’s end. The 58-year-old has managed the Bavarian giants twice in his career. He won four titles, two German cups, the Champions’ League, and the Intercontinental Cup over the first stint, from 1998-2004. He also hoisted to league titles and the Champions’ League while with Borussia Dortmund in the mid-nineties. Hitzfeld succeeded Felix Magath last winter after the latter was sacked.

Sochaux have appointed Francis Gillot to succeed Frederic Hantz as club manager. The reigning Coupe de la Ligue champions are second from bottom in Ligue 1 after a respectable 7th-place finish in 2006-2007. Gillot, 47, resigned from Lens in the summer after managing the club since January, 2005.